Often when I share accounts of my first solo travels at age 18, I watch as my audience's eyes flash with horror... ✈
Despite the presentation of artsy filters and carefully curated highlight reels, though, the ‘picture perfect’ trip simply does not exist. Nor would you want it to, because in reality, it’s the imperfect, unseen moments that can help forge a version of yourself you’ll be thankful you met.
Often when I share accounts of my first solo travels around Europe at the age of 18, I watch my audience's eyes flash with signs of horror at the thought of it. Seeing how little life experience I had under my belt, their sense of concern is valid, but with each mistake I made, every bus I missed, each wrong turn I took and item I had stolen from under my nose, I grew a little.
Here are some of the classic mistakes you’ll likely make as a first-time solo traveller, and the lessons to take from each.
With comical review, I can now recount my first day on the road with candour – although it took me a while to find humour in it. Without a working international sim in my phone, I had written down the train stop to disembark at for my arrival in the city of Lisbon from the airport, but as soon as my foot hit the pavement, ignorance weighed heavy on my chest. Where was my hostel?
With no further directions and the sun setting on a national holiday, the street parade seemed to make a mockery of a young girl who had never known independence outside of her small seaside hometown in regional Victoria. Hours after taking that step, stopping every second person on the street and visiting each receptionist in the area, I finally found the place I had booked to stay. There, I was greeted by staff who already knew my name thanks to my concerned mother, who had taken it upon herself to call and check that I had arrived safely… multiple times over the hours it took me to arrive.
It was a jarring welcome to what has ended up being years of solo travel, and it spoke highly of the importance of preparation but also acceptance. As someone who is directionally challenged, I allowed myself to get lost and lean into the discomfort, because sometimes that is where the adventure is: how you discover that cute cafe, or an incredible lookout of the whole area – exploring corners of the city you may not have read about online.
Of course it’s crucial to ensure your own safety – like booking travel that won’t have you arriving after dark in a foreign place, ensuring you have a working phone in case of emergencies and giving yourself a reasonable timeframe to find a night’s accommodation if you’re travelling on the fly, but when moments call you to lean into that unknown, lean in!
Solo travel affords you ultimate freedom. With no one to weigh in on where you go and when, your days are yours to design exactly how you wish. After living at home and going to school Monday to Friday, I didn’t really have an idea of what this liberation actually felt like. It was eye opening to make my own decisions on my trip, and I learned a lot about listening to myself, my boundaries and what lights me up without placement of anyone else’s expectations. Although I’m still learning, I would say that this period of my life was one of my biggest acts of self-love.
There are two sides to this coin though, and with freedom comes responsibility. The understanding that no one is there to wake you up to get you on that flight, for example! If you don’t book a hostel early enough and it’s a busy season, it is very possible you will have nowhere to sleep on a very isolated island and will have to pay £15 to snooze in a hammock in someone’s backyard with nothing but your socks for gloves to keep you warm. But with every backyard hammock comes greater appreciation of the underpriced, beautifully-styled villas you may chance upon later, and with this balance comes experience and stories to hold onto for dinner parties at a later date.
I was raised in a beautiful and safe pocket of the world, with stunning views and untouched beaches. I am very privileged with the life I have and the opportunities I have been given – but the thing with privilege is that it can be invisible to those who have it, especially when the bubble you live in shields you from life beyond its limit. Though I loved my home, I knew I wanted more, but at the time couldn’t determine what that meant.
Having an Australian passport that allows me to travel freely and without restraint is another huge privilege, and it gave me the tools to unlock important lessons in gratitude, cultural relativism and the celebration of difference. I have since been lucky enough to be exposed to all sorts of different cultures, languages, food and people. I am continuing to deepen my understanding of the fact that this world is made up of so many contrasting life experiences – and when I returned from that first trip, it was clear this understanding was not shared amongst many of my friends who hadn’t experienced diversity beyond the coast we grew up on.
When you’re travelling alone, every decision lies in your hands. Not only every festival you attend, every hike you do and every car you hire, but also every lost phone, broken pack and swiped side mirror falls completely within your responsibility. It’s important to be okay with the mistakes, laugh at them and at yourself, feel upset if you need to but then get up and carry on in knowing it’s all part of the game. Sometimes nothing will go to plan, and losing the one device that keeps you connected, safekeeps all of your memories and is your handheld ticket office for all onward travel could come down to simply sitting down on a street corner and leaving a little lighter with an empty back pocket. No excuse will soften the blow of bad judgement!
Of course mistakes can also be made from the comfort of your backyard and growth can take form from experiences well beyond solo travelling, but your body will keep the score of each experience you have on the road and, in time, those experiences will crystallise into something you cannot imagine living without. You’ll find laughter in moments of solitude, a deep understanding in stillness and feel a connection with yourself that expands even further than the one you share with others.
That doesn’t mean you can’t still present your time through an edited expression online, but it’s what lies behind those picture-perfect moments that captures what matters most.
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